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  DIRECTORS NOTES:  Remembered Blessings

The death of someone brings sadness to their loved ones and friends. It can also bring doubts and anger as we ask “why?”.

But death does have a side where, if you look, you may find blessings. It brings families and friends together conquering distance and time. It holds answers at times about how to live or not to live your life. We might look upon the deceased and commend them for living a positive life and finding joys in life. Therefore we might be encouraged to live like they lived or, to the contrary, we might look upon a life not lived well and vow not to live that way.

As I have grown older death reminds me of my own mortality and the blessings that each day holds for those who reach out to receive it. I am trying to do that each day. My father in his death taught me that. So did my mother. Some of my friends were fine models for living with joy. Their death enhanced the way they lived for joy and with blessings.


The year 2014 would bring the death of three people in the family of this wonderful agency. Mary died in February, Mark died in May, and John died in December.

Mary’s friends would undoubtedly describe her as one of the sweetest and most gentle people they knew. Never an unkind word about anyone…ever. She bravely fought cancer and never complained. She was loved and respected.

Mark had been in the recovery process for several years after being attacked and beaten by hateful people he did not know. His injuries were substantial and life changing physically and emotionally. But he was making strides and was valiant in his desire to do everything he could in his life.

John had a kindness about him that everyone recognized. He often asked how others were doing because he cared for them. He had a good sense of humor. He was a good man. And, isn’t that what most men would hope to be known as…as a good man?

So Mary taught me about the importance of being kind and gentle toward others. She faced death with dignity and enjoyed every minute of the day even while undergoing difficult cancer treatments. What an amazing spirit she had!

Mark taught me that even in the midst of pain and extreme physical as well as psychological challenges we can move forward with hard work and determination. We can even regain trust for others as we receive medical services and respect. Mark never gave up.

John was always someone I respected. I just liked him. And when I was asked to provide the graveside service for him I received a lifelong blessing. This blessing took me to scriptures throughout the Bible that re-spoke to me about my faith and the importance it holds in my life. I searched the scriptures seeking passages that were “John”…that he reminded me of as well as those that I wanted to read to him, his family and his friends. That process held true blessings for me and strengthened by faith.

I believe that God works through us all. God was there in John’s death. He was there as John’s family reached out to find someone who knew him and could convey his spirit. God was guiding me in my search for just the right scripture to read. And, God was there that cold morning when many of John’s friends stood by the grave and prayed that he rest in peace.


“O Death, where is your sting…where is your victory?... Death is swallowed up in victory.” 1 Cor. 15

rc 01/15



  Directors Notes Archive
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The Disabled Fox
Patience is Not A Virtue
Jim Longman
Real Work of Christmas...
Reginald Ramsey
Aunt Alice & Cousin Eddy
Good People
The Crisis
Holiday Greetings

  Physical Address:
Residential Support Services of Wake County Inc.
185 Wind Chime Court - Suite 101
Raleigh, NC 27615

919-787-1214    919-787-3416 fax
Mailing Address:
Residential Support Services of Wake County Inc.
P.O. Box 98476
Raleigh, NC 27624